In order to really pray with our Father — I mean pray like he’s right here and we are sharing life together — I need to let go of all “should”. My “should” this morning was all the things I should be doing to be a good father, worker, and leader. I can feel the stress of all these — and they form an overwhelming and swirling soul cloud of “I should be doing-s” that drown out His voice and blind me to His face.

Should transforms human beings into human doings; it ties our identity and worth to performance. Should’s source is external and based on expectations we internalize. It becomes a task master within us: either an endless to-do list or pangs of “I should
really…” impulses. We feel we have to obey or our world will fall apart. The root of this is the fearful anticipation of failure and consequence. Hardly a place for intimate prayer. But perfect love drives out fear (1 John 4:18).

Our Father, the great I AM, is the God of Being and he wants our life to proceed out of our highest will to do His will. This will-on-will identity is fellowship together in who we are and want to be together. This morning, I found this fellowship by remembering who Father showed himself to be yesterday. I don’t mean I was thinking of who God has shown himself to be historically. Literally, yesterday. There was this moment I saw myself in the frustration of my oldest son, and Father was there in my advice. There was this feeling of Father’s pleasure and generosity in my own feelings as I watched my daughter running in the sun as the gloom of late Winter was pierced by early Spring.

That’s a good place to start praying from this morning.

My Prayer:

Oh Father, deliver me from the trap of “should” so I will be with you.
You really were there in some wonderful ways yesterday.
Forgive me for allowing fear to blind me — I am so easily distracted by “the good” I’m trying to do.
I’m hopeful for today and the ways you’re going to be there.
I know you’ll show us who you are today.
There are things you’re going to make right,
On Earth — right here and now — just as it is in heaven.
I want to be there for that.
Amen.