“In every interaction, even those with God, we are involved in a great dance in which we shift from wanting closeness to needing our space. This dynamic occurs between parents and their children as well as between couples and friends. Different people have varying degrees of need for either closeness or separation. Too much of either one begins to create distress. When we are too close for too long, we may begin to feel “suffocated” or perhaps bored, unimaginative, or uninspired; when we are separated for too long, we begin to feel isolated, lonely, or sad. This dynamic extends to larger settings. Groups also require times of deep connection interspersed with times of autonomy in order to accomplish their goals. In a healthy business, for instance, it is vital that different departments have enough space to develop their particular special service while sometimes working with other divisions so that the common vision of the business can be realized. This dynamic seems so natural that we may never stop to consider why this oscillation is necessary.”

Thompson M.D., Curt. Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships (pp. 236-237). Tyndale Refresh. Kindle Edition.

Several discussions this past weekend led me to think about the balance between community and individualism (autonomy). Particularly in our Western culture, the individual is supreme. In the 60’s and 70”s, the phrase “If it feels good, do it” became the battle cry for me-ness or individualism. It instilled the idea that we are the only one or thing important. Our wants and desires took precedence over any consideration of others or the idea of right and wrong.

A more recent idea is that of Relativism. This is the idea that there is no such thing as absolute or universal truth. This idea holds that truth depends on culture, context, or personal perspective. Maybe I look at this idea from a prejudiced perspective, but if I were to decide that the law of gravity is “relative” to my way of looking at it, would I not fall to the ground if I stepped off of a six-story building?

The idea behind all these different philosophies is that what I think or want is all that is important. This belief has even caused some people to consider anyone who disagrees with their way of thinking to is an enemy who must be avoided for reasons of safety. This belief causes one to sink deeper and deeper into solitude and an inability to function around others.

Over the course of my lifetime, I have seen the move away from community and toward me-ness. Sometimes, the only thing that draws people together is a major catastrophe. When the catastrophe is over, we tend to retreat into our own little world, where we feel safe.

The problem with all of this is that we need each other. Neuroscience, Sociology, and Scripture all agree that we cannot function in a healthy manner without community. The need to feel felt, heard, accepted, and belong are universal needs. Learning to work and belong in a community is difficult and takes time, but well worth the time and effort.

In his first letter to the church in Corinth, the apostle Paul writes about this very subject.

“Paul wrote his letter to the new community of Christians gathered in the city of Corinth, a thriving Greek metropolis, in about AD 57. The group of believers there had become factious, displaying behavior that was counter to what it means to be followers of Jesus. Some members were abusing the disenfranchised; the less powerful were undermining those attempting to lead in good faith. Lines were drawn between socioeconomic classes and races. They were even fighting over who ate what food served at meals. (Imagine that—being emotionally distressed over food.)”

Thompson M.D., Curt. Anatomy of the Soul: Surprising Connections between Neuroscience and Spiritual Practices That Can Transform Your Life and Relationships (p. 239). Tyndale Refresh. Kindle Edition.

In 1 Corinthians 12, Paul talks about the diversity that was created by God giving different gifts to different people. In verses 4-11, Paul describes how each person’s gift contributes to the common good. As far as God is concerned, no one is unimportant. Paul didn’t consider a person’s value to be only in his or her individual existence, but also in that person’s place in the larger community. Paul goes on to give examples based on the human body.

“12 For just as the body is one and has many members, and all the members of the body, though many, are one body, so it is with Christ. 13 For in one Spirit we were all baptized into one body—Jews or Greeks, slaves or free—and all were made to drink of one Spirit.” vv. 12-13

This example is also how a healthy mind functions. All the parts must work together. It’s like a symphony. The string section may be carrying the melody, but the other instruments support the melody with harmonies and rhythm.

Next, Paul writes about the issue of shame. Shame comes from the idea that we are not enough. We may decide that because we are not the leader, our contribution is unimportant. This is simply a lie that the deceiver tries to implant in our minds.

“14 For the body does not consist of one member but of many. 15 If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 16 And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” that would not make it any less a part of the body. 17 If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell? 18 But as it is, God arranged the members in the body, each one of them, as he chose. 19 If all were a single member, where would the body be? 20 As it is, there are many parts, yet one body.” vv. 14-19

As I read these verses, I thought about what happens if I stub my little toe on a piece of furniture. I guarantee that my whole body reacts to that incident. I feel it all over my body. Not only that, but I also thought about how crazy it would be if I were entering a store and my left foot decided to cross the parking lot to a different store. Ridiculous, don’t you think?

Here is what Paul says next.

“21 The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” 22 On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23 and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, 24 which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, 25 that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. 26 If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” vv. 21-26

Not only are the parts that seem to be weaker indispensable, but they are also protected by the stronger parts. Paul’s vision of the body is a vision of hope. This is not intended to take away our individual identity, but to show how our identity is more than just our individualism. The body, whether human or community, functions at its best when all the individual parts are healthy and functioning in their respective roles.

My point in all of this is that we all need each other in the Church, in our families, in our local communities, and in all our personal relationships. Paul sums it up this way.

“27 Now you are the body of Christ and individually members of it. 28 And God has appointed in the church first apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then miracles, then gifts of healing, helping, administrating, and various kinds of tongues. 29 Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30 Do all possess gifts of healing? Do all speak with tongues? Do all interpret? 31 But earnestly desire the higher gifts.” vv. 27-30

Find your gift. Use it to heal your own mind and then find how it fits into the community.